


In the Mirror, a Photo

by LassieLowrider



Series: COC2019 [24]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Introspection, M/M, and ur mood, it's bad for ur soul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:41:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21850873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LassieLowrider/pseuds/LassieLowrider
Summary: Penny gives Simon a photo, and it makes him a bit introspectiveor: what makes the Humdrum out of an ordinary boy?
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: COC2019 [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553869
Kudos: 19
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2019





	In the Mirror, a Photo

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for COC2019 day 24: reflections
> 
> I own nothing, as per usual

**Simon**

The thing about the Humdrum is that you start taking things far more seriously when the bad guy looks like you. Ask me, I’d know. 

I mean, of course I took things seriously before it stole my face, but - it felt remote, somehow, when it just was an intangible thing. Then it stole my face and I felt violated, that this thing terrorising our world would wear my face while doing it. 

When we then defeated it, when I lost my magic and the closest thing I’d had to a father figure all in one swoop, I was so numb I didn’t reflect much on anything, really. Not until quite a lot of time had passed, and Penny gave me a photo someone had taken of me and her in our first year at Watford.

What first struck me, looking at that photo, was how absolutely  _ tiny  _ I was. When I asked Penny about that, she just laughed;  _ we were all tiny back then, Simon.  _ I still don’t think everyone was that tiny.

The Humdrum was, however. He, it - whatever,  _ he _ was that tiny. And so lonely. 

I think that’s what really got to me, not just the death of the Mage  _ and  _ Ebb  _ and  _ Magick, but that he was so small and so lonely. He looked like a tiny thug - I guess that means I did, too? But above all else, he looked small and lonely. Bouncing and throwing that ball back and forth - I’d had one just like it, or maybe the one he had was the one I’d had, I’m a bit uncertain of how it all worked. He had the ball and he was very good at catching it, too, because he was just like me - all alone. 

I guess the biggest difference between us was that he ate magic. Looking at the photo, I could see exactly where he came from, why he’d turned out like he did. It could just as easily have been me, and that’s not a truth I like thinking about.

“What’re you thinking about?” Baz said behind me, and I only twitched a little. Despite standing in front of the mirror, and I’d guess he’d been home for quite a while, I really hadn’t noticed him.

“Oh, hi Baz,” I replied absentmindedly. I held up the photo, waggling it in his direction. “Just, reminiscing I guess.”

“You’re being ridiculous, that’s what you’re doing, Simon,” he scoffed, coming up behind me to wrap his arms around me, leaning his chin on my shoulder. It was a steep learning curve, adjusting to the wings, but we’d managed to get around them. “You never would’ve turned out like him, no matter what.”

“How can you say that? You don’t know that,” I said, eyes downcast. It’s not like I wanted to convince him he was wrong, but - I thought he needed to know what he was getting into, even if we’d been together for quite a while by now. “What actually stopped me from entirely becoming him?”

“Well, first of all, you’re much cuter than he was,” he replied, shaking me a little. I couldn’t help but snort, and by the noise he made that was what he was going for. “And, secondly, do you for a second think Bunce would’ve let you become evil?”

“What if I hadn’t met Penny, though? What then?”

“Simon, you befriended the goat herder at Watford, the woman  _ no one _ else even paid mind to. And you did that  _ before  _ you knew Bunce.” Baz shook his head, pulling me closer to him, nestling his head down on my shoulder. I was a good three inches shorter - at least - but he insisted that standing stooped was perfect if it meant he could inconvenience me just a little. “You’re incapable of being anything other than kind - by Crowley, you’re dating  _ me _ and I tried to kill you! - and you being the Humdrum, or trying to bring about the end of the world, well, that’s as likely as Normal pigs flying.”

“I hope you’re right,” I said morosely. I could’ve heard him rolling his eyes, considering how hard he did it. 

“I’m  _ always  _ right,” he said cockily, before kissing me until I was dizzy. 

**Author's Note:**

> Listen y'all, Rainbow liked my fic from yesterday - Spellbound - so I've spent the rest of the day crying.
> 
> If this is tear-stained, you know why


End file.
